Bittersweet Recovery
by happyalvin
Summary: After causing a terrible accident Caroline Cassidy is ready to end her life, unable to cope with the devastation that she has caused and the reality that she is a mutant with the ability to manipulate the elements. Ready to jump, Caroline is stopped by the X-Men who may just be able to save her in more ways than one along with a certain white haired speed demon…
1. Chapter 1

_The music was loud and all around Caroline were her classmates who were all laughing, dancing and generally having a good time as they all went about celebrating the start of summer. Sophomore year was finally over and not it was time to celebrate which was what led close to sixty teenagers partying in a foreclosed house. Caroline stood in the corner of the living room and she watched as people come and went, some of them drinking, some of them just idly chatting with each other and having a good time. Most of the people here Caroline knew pretty well as she had been going to school with them since elementary. Salem wasn't too big of a town, the town's population was just under 30,000. Not too big but not too small that you would be running into each other on a daily basis as Caroline's father always told her. As she stood and watched as her classmates continued to party, Caroline couldn't help fun herself with her hand and she was incredibly hot. Stifling to put it lightly, but it was a warm and balmy night outside yet Caroline felt like she was a Thanksgiving turkey roasting in the oven, cooking from the inside and always hot. Caroline was always hot, she always felt hot no matter how many cold showers she took, no matter how windows she opened or how many times she opened the freezer and stuck her head in it. The heat never seemed to go away, for weeks Caroline had been feeling like this. According to her doctor there was nothing wrong with Caroline but she knew better, her temperature this morning had been 106__°F._ _That was not humanly possible and that wasn't the only weird thing which had been happening to Caroline recently, things had happened which she couldn't quite explain. Scary stuff which had caused a lot of damage, like the fire that had destroyed the old movie theatre or the river that had mysteriously burst it banks even though they were in the midst of a drought, people didn't know why the old Oak Tree that was over a hundred years old and been planted by some mayor had suddenly been uprooted or why cracks were appearing in the streets, cracks that would go for miles… It was crazy and Caroline wasn't crazy. She was normal, a normal sixteen year old girl. She was a cheerleader and a gymnast, not a freak… Her dad was a lawyer and her mother was a teacher. They ate brunch, went on dorky family holidays and did loads of community outreach. They were the normal ones. Caroline was a normal girl and she wanted to be just that, nothing more than that._

_Things had to be fine, Caroline hadn't worked so hard for everything she had just for it to be ruined. She was normal. It was what Caroline told herself everyday since all this stuff had started to happen.. If she kept telling herself that she was normal, then maybe things would go back to normal and this nightmare would finally be over. That she could forget that any of this weird stuff was going on. No more weird accidents would happen. Caroline told herself that she needed to stop thinking about all of that stuff as that's not what normal people did and she was normal and she needed to start acting like the teenaged girl she was. _

_"Cheer up Care! It's a party but that face of yours belongs at a funeral…"_

_Pulling her thoughts out of the clouds that she no longer wanted to dwell in Caroline looked up to see Haley Oswald, her best friend looking at her in a disapproving manner._

_"Sorry Haley, my mind drifted off somewhere…" Caroline apologetically stated with a small smile. Caroline didn't even want to come to this party given what was going on but it was Haley who had convinced her to come and as Caroline told herself once more, this was what normal teenaged girls did. They hung out with friends and went to parties. It was what normal people did and pretty much what most of her life consisted of and Caroline was going to get that consistency back and hold on to it for deal life even if it killed her._

_"Well… Now that I have you back Caroline make sure it stays here! It's summer vacation! Now is the time to be letting loose and having fun after all that hard work we put into making sure we passed our finals! Now we get to reap all that hard work and have fun! We are no longer sophomore's anymore and we are going to celebrate that! This is the first of many parties that we'll be ending Caroline and trust me when I say this is going to be the best summer of our lives! Now drink this, it will turn that frown of yours upside down…" Haley enthusiastically stated as she handed Caroline a cup which caused her to smile. Life was never boring when Haley was around, the pint sized girl was always the life and soul of the party and the most upbeat person Caroline knew. It was like Haley was just made up of pep and nothing else._

_"Whatever you say Hales!" Caroline replied before taking a long sip of the beverage that Haley and once the beverage was down her throat she couldn't help but blanche. It was rum and coke, very heavy on the run but Caroline wasn't complaining as Haley was right. The alcohol would be good in helping her to unwind as over the last couple of weeks Caroline had been wound up pretty tightly and it wasn't about finals like Haley believed. Taking another sip of the rum heavy drink, Caroline smiled and this time it was less forced, she felt slightly better with some liquid courage in her and was ready to have fun._

_"Now come along with me Caroline, there is someone who is just dying to see you…" Haley began and before Caroline could even say anything, Haley grabbed her arm and started pulling her along, through the crowd of people who were all congregated in the living room. Not caring at all if she was pushing past people in typical Haley fashion, Caroline knew better than to argue with Haley so she just allowed her friend to drag her along through the house to the kitchen. Caroline didn't know what was so important for Haley to bring them here at first, until she was pulled over to where a certain boy was standing. Not just any boy but the cute captain of the soccer team; Colby Sanders. He was beautifully tall with short blonde hair along with his infamous cowlick, hazel eyes and a dazzling smile to boot. Caroline had spent the better part of the year swooning at Colby from afar. The two of them knew each other casually as they ran in the same social group and had a lot of mutual friends. "Colby look who I just ran into on my way back from the ladies room! I was saying to Caroline, what a coincidence it was that I ran into her because the two of us were just chatting about her."_

_"Hales, what are you talk–" Caroline began as Haley had said nothing to her about Colby in the slightest but before she could even finish her sentence, Haley roughly nudged Caroline in the ribs to shut her up. A look passed between the two friends before Haley slinked off leaving Caroline in the kitchen with Colby. The two of them weren't alone as there were several others hanging out in the kitchen but they were all doing their own thing._

_"Hey Caroline."_

_"Hi Colby." Caroline replied in a rather shy and quiet manner before forcing herself to take a long gulp of her drink, she needed all the liquid courage she could get to be able to have an actual conversation with Colby without turning into a bumbling idiot. She didn't have Haley or any of her other friends here with her, to act as a buffer and to make sure the conversation kept going. Caroline was on her own and she could feel herself sinking pretty fast._

_"I heard from one of the guys that you weren't going to the party tonight, they said something about how you had a few things on and then something about you being burned out because of finals." Colby began and Caroline slowly nodded her head. That was indeed true until Haley got her hands on her and pretty much gave Caroline no choice in the option. There was no option at all, Haley had came to her house and said that Caroline was coming to the party. There was no ifs or buts._

_"I don't know about burned out, studying for finals was intense but not that intense so I have no clue where the whole burned out thing came from…" Caroline lied as she was burned out, in ways that Colby could never even imagine but she couldn't tell him that. "I just had a few things going on but I just had to juggle a couple of things around, no real biggie…"_

_"Well I'm glad that you came, the party wouldn't have been the same without you." Colby stated and Caroline could feel her cheeks starting to tinge pink and she had to remind herself that she had to play it cool and not screw up and make herself look like a complete idiot._

_"Thanks."_

_"So I'm just going to come out and say this Caroline because I spent the entire year trying to gather up the courage to ask you out and if I don't do it now, then I will chicken out and never do it. So here goes… Caroline Cassidy, would you like to go out with me sometime?" Colby questioned and Caroline couldn't actually believe this was happening as this all seemed to be a little bit of a dream._

_"I'd love that." Caroline eventually replied with a goofy grin on her face as she didn't care anymore as right now it seemed like her wish was coming true and everything was going the way it should be. Caroline continued to talk with Colby, the two of them in their seemingly own little world, not caring less about the people around them and the fact that were at a party until she had to excuse herself. Caroline wondered off to the downstairs bathroom and pretty much stumbled her way inside because she had this piercing headache. It was sharp and painful, causing Caroline to wince constantly as the pain only increased. At first Caroline hoped, no she prayed that it was because of all the alcohol she had been drinking on an empty stomach. But it soon became clear to her that this wasn't an alcohol related headache. It was the worse headache, the one that never seemed to go away. They were constant, just like the sun rising every morning was constant and these headaches seemed to occur when something bad was about to happen._

_Caroline clutched at her head and prayed that this wasn't happening, that this would all go away. But it wasn't going anywhere, the pain was only getting worse and for Caroline it seemed like her head was about to burst, like it was on fire. Willing herself to try and get a hold of herself Caroline slowly left the downstairs bathroom and she attempted to make her way to the back of the house towards the dining room as she just needed to pull herself together. But nothing seemed to work and the moment Caroline entered the dining room, her eyes caught sight of the drapes and immediately they were on fire. Caroline couldn't believe what had happened, that the drapes had caught fine. That she had done that. Caroline just stood there and watched as the fire continued to burn, from where she stood Caroline could feel the heat from the fire and it felt familiar. The warmth was oddly comforting to her. Then the fire started to spread and Caroline didn't know what to do, she didn't know how to stop it. The fire seemed to start when she looked at the drapes and she tried that again but it only seemed to make things worse. The fire was getting hotter and hotter, it was spreading everywhere and Caroline didn't know what to do, so she did the only thing she could…_

_She ran. _

* * *

They were dead. Colby, Haley and another girl April Warner, Caroline didn't know the exact details as she had panicked and bailed the moment that she knew the fire was going to get out of hand. Caroline didn't really remember much of what happened next, before she knew it she was outside and then people must have been alerted to the fire as soon enough people started to run out of the house. The whole thing seemed to move in slow motion for Caroline as she watched people running for their lives, trying to escape. The fire seemed to have spread very quickly as it seemed like it was mere minutes before the whole house went up in flames and then it blew. The whole house was destroyed and at the time Caroline didn't know that there were still people in the house, that Haley along with Colby and April were still in the house. Caroline had learned that news the next day and she was devastated. It killed her which is why Caroline was standing on top of a bridge right now and ready to jump as it was her fault that three people were dead. She was the one who started the fire and it wasn't just this fire, she was responsible for the fire that destroyed the old movie theatre along with whatever freaky thing she did to cause the Oak tree to be uprooted and the river to burst it's banks. All of this bad stuff that was happening and it was all because of her, because of her three people were dead including her best friend and Caroline couldn't live with that, what she done and the deep dark truth about herself that she was trying so hard to keep denying. But things had gone too far that Caroline knew that she could no longer hide from the truth; she was a mutant. A mutant who had killed three people and she could never escape from that. Caroline could never forgive herself for what she had done, which is why she had to do this.

Furiously wiping away her tears Caroline took a slow and steady step on the ledge of the bridge as she prepared to jump. It was the only thing she knew that could stop all of this. Three people were dead, she had destroyed three families as well a huge part of the city that she had loved. Her heart ached, grief and guilt clawed at Caroline's stomach day and night, all she wanted to do was scream and shout because she couldn't believe what she had done. She was a monster and needed to be stopped which is why she had to jump. Caroline knew that this was the only way as she was a danger to everything and everyone, things were spinning out of control so quickly and there was nothing she could do to stop. People were going to keep getting hurt if she didn't put a stop this right now. Caroline was scared, she was terrified but this was the only way to protect everyone. If she was dead then nobody else would get hurt, no one else would die and Caroline wouldn't have to live with all of this, her being a mutant and how she had hurt one of the most important people in her life. It hurt way too much.

"_Please don't jump Caroline…"_

That voice. It sounded clear as day but it was impossible as no one was here as Caroline had made sure that nobody would be here to stop her when she came to the bridge. She didn't deserve to be saved after what she had done, she had done something was so unforgivable that she didn't deserve to be saved. Caroline needed to make things right and this was the only was the one way she knew how. She didn't deserve to live whilst others were dead because of her, it wasn't fair. Everyone else would be better off without her, no one else would be hurt because she was a mutant and that was the only thing that provided Caroline with any comfort. Not that she deserved any of it.

"Caroline."

This time Caroline was certain that she heard someone calling her name and ever so slightly, she looked over her shoulder and found that she wasn't alone. Back on the side walk beside the bridge were two people, an older looking man in a wheelchair who was completely bald and with him was a woman, not as old as the man but she seemed very refined and held herself with grace. The woman had dark skin, long white hair and these mesmerising blue eyes. They somehow knew her but Caroline had no idea who they were and she just wanted them to go away, she just wanted to left alone so she could die with what little peace she had left.

"G-Go away…" Caroline chocked out as she struggled to form any words, she was just so tired.

"I'm afraid we can't do that Caroline, we don't want you to hurt yourself."

"You don't know anything, if knew what I had done then you would leave me alone so I can do this." Caroline wearily replied as she felt the tears staring to fall again. Barely an hour went by since the fire that Caroline wasn't crying, she just couldn't help herself. The tears were unable to stop. Nor did Caroline want to stop as her heart ached in her chest, it was falling apart and she just wanted to rip it out of her chest so she none of this would hurt so much. This was not the way things were supposed to be. If she had only been normal than none of this would have happened and Haley, April and Colby would all be alive. It wasn't fair that they died and she got to live. Caroline knew if anyone deserved to die in the fire then it was her. It was her fault anywhere. If she hadn't been such a coward and ran away, maybe things would have be different. If she wasn't a mutant things would be different.

"The fire wasn't your fault Caroline."

"What do you know about the fire?" Caroline demanded as she looked over her shoulder back to the man and the woman, specifically the man who was the one doing most of the talking. He was the one who wanted to talk when talking was the last thing that Caroline wanted to do. She was done with talking. It wasn't going to change anything, it was going to bring Haley or the others back. Talking did nothing.

"I know a lot of things Caroline, especially about you… I know that recently you've been going through a lot of changes. Ones that didn't make sense to you and all of a sudden you were doing things that didn't seem possible. Like what happened at the movie theatre and the river flooding. I know that you are scared and confused Caroline but this is not the answer. Jumping off this bridge isn't going to take away your pain."

"Y-You know nothing…" Caroline spat.

"I know what is like to be a scared and confused young mutant, unsure of what is happening to their body and why they are doing things that are seemingly unexplainable. My name is Professor Charles Xavier and I run a school that shelters mutants and help young mutants like yourself control their powers. Myself and my colleague Ororo would very much like to help you Caroline if you'd let us." Professor Xavier stated in a soothing tone of voice but Caroline just shook her head. Nobody could help her.

Mutant. The man or rather Professor Xavier said mutant and Caroline couldn't help but swallow a massive lump in her throat as the man knew what she was. He knew that she was a mutant and apparently he was one too. He was a freak like her. This nightmare was just getting worse for Caroline. Her wish for all of this to end was not going to come true. Things were just getting so much harder.

"I-I… I just want to be a normal girl… I don't want to be a mutant, I want t go back to being normal and have none of this stuff happen to me. I-I don't want to be like this. I just want it all to stop, I don't want to be a mutant. I j-just want my life back." Caroline sobbed as this was all getting too much for her and she couldn't take it anymore and she wanted to jump more than ever now. But she also wanted to cry. From the corner of her eye despite all the tears Caroline couldn't help but notice the woman who the Professor referred to as Ororo hesitantly climb onto the bridge but she made no move towards Caroline or attempt to pull her down.

"I know this is hard, much harder than anything you could have possibly imagined Caroline but you are a mutant and you can't change that. All mutants have a gene that Professor Xavier calls an X-Gene and it's what allows us to develop abilities. Take myself and the Professor for the example, I can control the weather whilst the Professor is a telepath and you Caroline, from what we can tell can have the ability to manipulate the four natural elements. I know this is all a lot to take in and you just want to be normal but being a mutant isn't the worst thing in the world. As much as you may not want to see it, you have a gift and one that you can put to good use in time." Ororo said in a calming one but Caroline's head was still whirling around with grief and guilt.

"No it's not… How can you call what I have a gift? I k-killed them… I killed them all." Caroline stammered as she thought back to the party, she thought back to how Haley had dragged her there and how this was supposed to be the best summer of their lives. But it wasn't going to be like that anymore because Haley was dead because of her. Caroline had killed her. She had killed her best friend and she would never see Haley again. She would never see Colby or April again, she would never get the chance to apologize for what she had done.

"No you didn't Caroline, it was a terrible and tragic accident and you didn't mean to hurt anyone. This wasn't your fault Caroline, I know you did not intend for this to happen or for anyone to die. It was an accident." Professor Xavier told her but Caroline didn't believe that. He wasn't there, he didn't see what had happened and what she had done.

"I-I can't do this…" Caroline sobbed, she wasn't strong enough to do this. "Nobody can help me."

"You can do this Caroline, I know you can do this even if you think you cannot do this and if you can't believe in yourself then believe in me. I can feel your pain Caroline, please let me help us you… We can help you Caroline, no matter how long it takes I will be there to help you every step of the way. You are not alone Caroline, you will never be alone again I promise you. It's your choice…"

Caroline looked over at the Professor, she barely knew the man and she didn't have to listen to him. But there was something about him, the look in his eyes and the sincerity in his voice. He really did want to help her even after what she done. It was scary as the day she wanted to end her life, Professor Xavier offered to save it. There was something about the Professor that Caroline knew she could trust and so she turned to Ororo who was offering her hand and after a moment of hesitation Caroline took it and together they stepped off the bridge.


	2. Chapter 2

_Bright lights. _That was the first thing that Caroline noticed when she wearily opened her eyes, bright white lights burned at her eyes and she couldn't help but rub at her rather blurry eyes as they struggled to make out wherever she was. It took a few moments before Caroline's vision finally cleared up enough to the point where she could make out where she was; it was some kind of bright white room from what Caroline could gather from as she laid in some kind of bed looking up at the ceiling. It took Caroline a moment before she gained the courage to sit up and investigate where she was, straight away she had no idea where she was; the room looked like a miniature hospital but it was all but deserted. Caroline was the only person in the room but there was all this fancy equipment in the room. Caroline had no idea where she was or how on earth she had gotten here, everything was blank. It was like her mind was completely empty except for the massive headache that she currently had, for Caroline it was like she had been repeatedly hit over the head with a jackhammer. Wherever she was, it didn't really matter anymore all Caroline knew was that she needed to get out of here right now as her parents were going to freak. Caroline attempted to just climb out of her bed but her legs seemed frozen, well rather like they were incredibly stiff. That was the first of Caroline's problems as she looked down to find that she wasn't wearing any clothes that belonged to her, she was in one of those ugly and standard hospital gowns. Given the clothing and the general look of the room, Caroline concluded that she had to be in a hospital. She must have gotten into some accident, hence her waking up in some kind of hospital with no recollection of what had happened. This was the worst thing to wake up to as Caroline hated hospitals, she always had ever since her Grandma Nancy had passed away. As Caroline got herself together, the door opened and in walked a man in a wheelchair, who seemed awfully familiar to her and it took Caroline's brain a few moments to kick to realize who the man was; Professor Xavier. The man from the bridge, the guy who had stopped her from jumping off the bridge. The guy who told her that she was a mutant. Caroline was still having a bit of trouble accepting that there was an actual term for her. Something to describe the reason why all these weird things kept happening around her, a term to describe why she had set that fire. The term felt dirty. It made Caroline feel like she was some kind of freak with some disease but she didn't know what other term could describe the way she currently felt about herself.

"Caroline… It's good to see that your up, you've been asleep for four days." Professor Xavier began with a small smile as he entered the room and he was followed by a guy, who looked like he was the same age as Caroline or rather of a similar age. But there was something rather weird about him as he had brown hair, everything about him seemed seemingly normal except for his eyes or rather his glasses with red lenses. It was a bit weird for person to be wearing sunglasses indoors but that wasn't a pressing issue for Caroline. 4 days. She had been asleep for 4 days… Caroline couldn't believe what she was hearing, it seemed insane that she had slept for that amount of time and she had no idea why. Things were a bit fuzzy for her.

"W-Where am I?" Caroline asked, quite surprised to hear that her voice was so hoarse. It was like sandpaper had been stuffed down her throat in a rather savage manner.

"New York. We brought you to the school that I run for young mutants like yourself; The Xavier School for Gifted youngsters." Professor Xavier explained and Caroline wearily nodded her head, she could vaguely remember there being some talk about some kind of school. But Caroline couldn't remember the precise details considering that she was preparing to jump off a bridge at the time. Caroline couldn't believe that she was even in New York, she couldn't even remember leaving Salem. The more Caroline thought about it, there was an awful lot that she couldn't remember. "I'd like you to meet Scott Summers, he's one of my students here at the institute, I thought that he could help you settle in here and help you with anything you need. I understand that it's sometimes easier for teenagers to talk amongst their peers than to adults."

"Welcome Caroline, it's nice to meet you…" Scott said and Caroline casually shrugged her shoulders and she pulled up her legs to her chest and then proceeded to wrap her arms around her legs. This was all so surreal and it seemed like it was a dream, something that she would wake up from any second now. But it wasn't a dream. Caroline knew this wasn't a dream. This was really happening her. She had started a fire that had killed three people, tried to jump of a bridge but saved by a strange bald man who offered to help her with the whole mutant thing. This whole thing sounded like something out of some kind of science fiction book but it wasn't, this was Caroline's life now.

"How did I get here? I don't remember anything from that night after what happened to the bridge…"

"We took you home to your parents house and we had a talk with them–" Professor Xavier began

"My parents–" Caroline wearily murmured, more to herself than anyone else as she interrupted Professor Xavier. Things were starting to become a lot clearer and her memories slowly seemed to come back to her. It wasn't crystal clear but she could remember stepping off the bridge, things went a bit hazy after a while. However what was clear to Caroline was what happened next after she arrived at her parents house, things just went from bad to worse. There was yelling, screaming and crying when her parents found out everything. They didn't react well to the news that their only daughter was a mutant and had killed three people. Caroline had been kicked out of the house and just thinking about what happened with her parents just made Caroline want to cry. Her parents had looked at her like she was some kind of monster, like they didn't even know her anymore.

"It was a lot for them to take in Caroline, they just need some time." Professor Xavier said in a warm and reassuring manner and Caroline wanted to believe him but she couldn't. Her parents didn't need time. They had cast her out because she was a mutant and there was nothing that anyone could do to pain that picture in a prettier light. Caroline didn't have parents anymore, there was no way she could go back to Salem, she was now and forevermore alone. This was why she had wanted to die. Nothing good happened the longer she continued to live for. Her life was pretty much over and it wasn't in that overdramatic teenager way but it was really over. Caroline had no family, her best friend was dead as was the guy she liked and it was all because of her.

"W-Why did you save me? Why didn't you let me die?" Caroline asked looking directly at the professor.

"I didn't save you Caroline, not in the way that you're thinking… You saved yourself by deciding not to jump off that bridge I merely had a conversation with you about how I could help you deal with your abilities. I meant what I said to you that night Caroline. I want to help you, I set up this school to help young mutants like yourself to come to safe environment where you could learn to control your abilities in place with others like yourself. I understand what it's like to be a young mutant trying to cope with the hormones that comes with being a teenager along with trying to deal with their abilities–" Professor Xavier began to explain in a sympathetic manner and something inside of Caroline began to boil. Whilst Caroline knew that he was only trying to help her, she didn't appreciate him saying to her that he understood what she was going through.

"What do you know about any of this? I cause destruction wherever I go. I killed three people! You don't understand anything! You can read people's minds! How on earth does that compare to what I've done!" Caroline snapped in annoyance as nobody could understand what she had done and what she was going through. Caroline had caused complete devastation she had killed three people, she had forever ruined the lives of three different families. She took something from them that she could never return and she would have to live with that guilt forever. Caroline was so upset, she felt herself getting herself so worked up and before she knew it a smash trash can in the corner of the room burst in the flames. Instantly the memories of the night that the fire occurred came flooding back to Caroline, she could remember people screaming in panic, all the crying, the sirens of the fire trucks and the smell of the smoke. It all came flooding back and Caroline bolted from the bed, onto the floor and backed herself up against the wall and covered her face with her hands. "I-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean for it to happen."

"Caroline, it's okay you don't need to apologize." Professor Xavier replied in a warm and Caroline couldn't help but shake her head in disagreement. She didn't mean to start the fire, it just happened. There was nothing that she could do to stop it.

"I really am sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for Caroline, we know that you didn't mean to start the fire and Scott's already put the fire out. See for yourself…" Professor Xavier stated and Caroline allowed herself to take a peek by looking through her hands and she could see Scott putting down a fire extinguisher and indeed the fire was gone. Nobody had been hurt, this time… Caroline couldn't help but let out a sigh of mild relief. All of this was too much and she was so tired, Caroline wanted all of this to be over already as it was taking too much toll on her. Caroline wasn't sure that she could continue with this, continue living in fear of hurting people or worrying that she would set fires or cause things to flood if she so much as moved an inch. Caroline chose not to get up off the floor, she didn't feel like she could move or even get up again. It was life her legs had lost all feeling. She didn't move, however Scott crossed the room and Caroline wearily watched as he sat down next to her with no apparent regard to his life. Scott had just seen her set a fire and yet he chose to sit next to her, Caroline couldn't help but wonder whether Scott had a death wish or was just an idiot. He seemed like a nice guy but even Caroline knew it was probably best not to sit next to the girl who can set fires with her mind.

"I think I understand Caroline. Well I can relate to you more than the Professor can… My eyes emit an optic beam which will pretty much destroy anything in it's path if my eyes are open. I destroyed building just by opening my eyes because I can't control my ability either, I can't open my eyes and decide that I want to blow up a tree or something. I open my eyes and whatever is in my line of sight will turn to dust, which is why I have to wear these sunglasses, they absorb the optic beam. Without them I wouldn't even be able to open my eyes." Scott explained and Caroline found herself looking at Scott in a different way, he didn't try to understand what she was going through but he could relate in his own way. He was trying to empathise with her. At first glance Caroline thought that Scott was just some cocky guy who wore sunglasses indoors because he thought it was cool. But that wasn't the case. Scott wore the sunglasses because it was a necessity for him.

"Difference is Scott you didn't kill three people including your best friend. I killed Haley, I will never see her again, she will never get to live the life she was supposed to live because of me. She won't go to college, get married, have kids and live a happy life. She won't have that because I took her life. I took her life as I did with Colby and April. With just my mind I set a fire which killed three people." Caroline quietly murmured.

"You didn't mean to cause that fire or hurt anyone Caroline just like I didn't mean to destroy a hospital ceiling when my powers manifested. I know this is all pretty scary Caroline, I really do understand as this whole mutant thing is hard to wrap your head around. But this is the best place for you to be, the world isn't exactly mutant friendly and one of the reasons the Professor set up the institute was so it could be a safe place for us to learn to control our powers with others just like us. The Professor can help you Caroline, he can help you learn how to control your abilities and you won't be alone during any of this. The Professor is here for you, as am I along with everyone here. Right now you may feel so alone like nobody else can understand but here at the institute you are never really alone. Trust me…" Scott said in a reassuring manner and it gave Caroline a moment of pause. Caroline thought back to the night on the bridge, she recalled how kind the Professor had been, how he came to her with no judgements and just wanted to help her. The Professor had been so kind and sincere, he seemed to really care and he didn't look at her like she was some kind of freak as did Scott. Complete strangers wanted to help her when her parents turned their back on her. She couldn't go back home, nor did Caroline think she could ever bring herself to go back considering what she had done.

"Do you really think I can learn to control it?" Caroline asked turning to look at the Professor, she may have been asking him verbally if he believed that she could learn to control her powers. But what she really wanted to know was if she could trust him. The people who she had trusted her most in the world had betrayed, thrown her out like she was trash and here she was, scared and frightened in some institute about to wearily place her trust in some mutants. Caroline needed to know that she could trust them, that she could trust them as she couldn't deal with being rejected again. She needed to feel wanted and like she mattered over wise she may as well find another bridge to try and jump off.

"I have every faith in you Caroline."


	3. Chapter 3

Bayville, New York. Caroline never dreamed that in a thousand years that she would be living in New York of all places, but it was starting to grow on her with each passing day which was a good thing as Caroline knew that she couldn't go back to Salem. She could never go back there, it would be too painful, too many memories and just as many reminders of all the destruction that she had caused. Not to mention, Caroline had nowhere to go if she went back home to Salem, her parents had made it pretty clear that she was welcome in their home anymore. After everything that had happened in the last few months, the situation with her parents was the thing that Caroline was most at peace with, her parents disowned Caroline the moment she needed them the most and there was no coming back for that. Caroline was just a kid, a very confused and mixed up sixteen year old but she knew that parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally and her parents apparently didn't love her enough to accept the fact that she was a mutant. It was okay. Caroline was learning how to cope with it and every day it got a little less painful and living in a swanky mansion sure seemed to help things. The institute was easily ten times the size of Caroline's old home, the institute – or rather The Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters was impressive, it had everything that Caroline could ever imagine. The place was everything that the Professor said it was and more, the mansion was away from prying eyes but big enough that Caroline didn't feel like she was enclosed in some glass box built for freaks.

It wasn't home but it was the closest thing to a home that Caroline had at the moment. Five weeks Caroline had been at the institute and she had yet to burn down the place although she had caused quite a sizeable damage to the property which wasn't limited to half of the kitchen, some rather expensive looking couches and a bush in the gardens. Professor Xavier had been rather gracious about the whole thing much to Caroline's surprise, she had been expecting him to get mad or perhaps even annoyed. But not once had he batted a single eyelid, instead he had always assured Caroline that this was all apart of the learning process. Although she hadn't known him long, Caroline knew that the Professor was a good man, perhaps the best man that she had ever known in her short life. He gave her hope, which is something that Caroline hadn't had in very long time. They had these sessions three times a week for an hour in the Professor's office and they just talked. Sometimes it was about Caroline's life in Salem before the accident. Most of the time it was about her life here at the institute and how she was coping with the training and her abilities.

They had talked about the fire a handful of times. Caroline wasn't exactly sure of the actual number of times her and the Professor had discussed what happened that night. Every time they had talked about it, Caroline had ended up getting upset and spent the remainder of each day crying. So they didn't speak about the fire often, they only spoke about it when Caroline brought it up, Professor Xavier never broached the subject, unless Caroline mentioned it first. It was all supposed to be a part of the healing process, to help Caroline deal with her grief. Caroline wasn't fixed, she knew she was too broken to ever be really fixed but the grief no loner crippled her. Her days, unbearable as they were, weren't threatening to destroy her anymore.

"Don't worry I'm not going to jump." Caroline said from where she sat on the ledge of the balcony, her legs swinging freely in the air. Caroline didn't bother to turn around to see who it was who was standing a few yards behind her as she knew very well that it was Logan, she had been aware that he as standing behind her for a fair while. The Wolverine was the only one here at the institute who kept even more bizarre hours than Caroline herself. She wasn't surprised that Logan had found her as many a times had Logan found Caroline sitting in the library after lights out because she was unable to sleep. Logan hadn't busted her chops over Caroline's flagrant disregard of the rules, most nights he just left her to it, then some nights Logan joined her and the two of them sat in silence, reading in the library until Caroline finally dragged her sorry butt to bed.

"Didn't think you would Goldilocks." Logan replied in his typical gruff manner and Caroline could afford to laugh at Logan's use of his own personal nickname for her; Goldilocks because of Caroline's blonde hair. She hated it but Caroline was sort of stuck with it as according to Scott, once Logan had branded you with a nickname, it was irreversible.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did, given my history…" Caroline grimly replied as her mind briefly wondered back to that night on the bridge, when she was all but ready to end her life. It seemed like an entire lifetime ago as ever since Caroline had come to the institute she had been kept rather busy, there was always pretty much something for her to be doing. Whether Professor Xavier had purposely done this to distract Caroline and keep her out of her own mind, she wasn't sure but it was all a welcomed distraction as Caroline was too preoccupied to wallow in self guilt. Until nightfall when everyone went to bed for the night, that was when Caroline could afford to let her mind catch up with her and the guilt over what had happened would come crashing over her. It was always there to remind of her of what she had done, Caroline knew that it would constantly be hanging over her, most likely for the rest of her natural life.

"Still can't sleep?" Logan asked and Caroline ruefully shook her head, the insomnia was still the ongoing bane of her existence and it had no inclination that it would be going away anytime soon.

"It's a work in progress, some nights are better than the others. It really all depends on what I've been doing in the day, Scott and I spent this one day last week just goofing around and acting like normal kids and that was fine. I slept like a baby. But the next day I had a session with the Professor and that was it, the whole night I couldn't sleep. I'm guessing that tonight I won't be getting much sleep, if I even get any…" Caroline woefully admitted with a sigh.

"How'd it go with the Professor today?"

"The usual… How grief is something completely natural thing for me to be feeling after what happened, I lost my best friend, the boy I liked and my family because of what I did, an innocent girl died and I caused countless destruction in my wake. I can deal with being a mutant, I'm to coming to terms with it but it's the whole guilt thing that I can't really cope with. We discussed that there is a difference between grief and guilt, how I can't keep holding myself accountable for something that was an accident. I know talking is supposed to help but it only gets you so far, talking doesn't change the fact that three people are people dead. That my parents have given up on me. Today the professor told me that trees turn into diamonds, whatever that means. All this talking with the Professor about how I need to stop blaming myself for what happened, that I need to accept that what happened was an accident. Continually talking doesn't change the fact that in my head I can still see Haley, in my head she's as happy and alive as the last time I saw her and, it's like she's haunting me. But if I learn to accept that this was an accident, if I learn to let go of my guilt then that won't be the case anymore, Haley won't be in my head anymore and I don't think I'm ready to let that go just yet. I know that must make me sound crazy but I'd rather have a little bit of Haley still with me than learn to live a life without her." Caroline wearily stated, knowing full well that she sounded like she was losing her damn mind.

"I get it kid. You didn't ask for any of this, yet it happened to you… One day you woke up and your life was turned upside down. Everything was fine and then something happened and you started to manifest your abilities. I also understand a little something about guilt, a lot better than the Professor or anyone else would as they haven't done the things that we have. They can't really ever understand… The Professor is right Goldie, it was an accident but I know that no matter how many times people tell you that, it doesn't mean squat unless you believe it. But that doesn't mean you can just switch off feeling guilty. The guilt will never go away, it'll always be something that you carry around with you kid but it gets easier to carry. It just takes time." Logan said and there was something in his tone of voice and the words that he had used that told Caroline that Logan carried some guilt similar to the guilt that she was carrying on. There was part of her that was curious, she wanted to know what on earth made Wolverine feel guilty but she knew better than to ask. There were just some things that you just didn't talk about with Logan and his past was at the top of the list.

"Well time does seem to be something that I have and it seems to be helping in some respects, at least when it comes to the whole mutant thing. I'm not causing mass distracting wherever I go anymore." Caroline replied allowing herself to forcefully laugh as she held out her left hand and after concentrating for a few moments a small fire ball appeared in her hand. The fire ball hovered a millimetre or so above her palm and Caroline could feel the head from the fireball spreading all over her body. It gave her this comforting feeling in a rather odd way and Caroline looked at the fire ball for a few more moments before closing her hand to extinguish it. A month ago Caroline would have never have believed she would been able to exhibit this amount of control over her abilities. Before she could have never generate fire unless she was under some kind of duress but now she could produce it at will – for the part. For Caroline it was a huge step in the right direction of getting her abilities under control. "It's weird to think that I'm spending most of my time training and trying to get a better handle of my abilities given that I wasn't that receptive to being a mutant at first. It wasn't because I was anti-mutant… It just that being a teenager is hard enough without having abilities and then having the label stuck on you. I knew what I was after a couple of days of my abilities manifesting, I was just in denial for the longest amount of time. I thought if I pretend like nothing was wrong and I was fine then I would be, turns out there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. I'm still trying to work out this whole mutant thing but the Professor seems to believe that I can do even when I keep causing minor damage to the institute. He has so much faith in me that I'm actually worried that I'll fail and end up disappointing him. But I know this is where I'm meant to be."

"You've been doing a good job Goldilocks, I know I've not exactly told you that. I may have been a bit tough on you since you've got here…" Logan responded in his typical grunt like manner and at first Caroline thought she was hearing things because it seemed like the big bad Wolverine had just given her a compliment which was a pretty deal. Logan wasn't exactly the kind of guy who did the whole warm and fuzzy things and he most certainly did not idly had out praise. Caroline was half tempted to feign ignorance to what she had heard and get Logan to repeat himself it wasn't for the fact that she knew Logan would refuse to. Soppy and emotional things were rare for Logan and when he did say something that resembled sentiment, he only said it once.

"Tough? Seriously… Is that what you would call everything you'd done to me since I've arrive?" Caroline questioned in disbelief as ever since she had arrived at the institute and had gotten adjusted to her new surroundings it had been one thing after another with Logan. Seeing as the Wolverine was in charge of combat and survival skills here at the institute, he had been putting Caroline through her paces be it through five mile runs every day at 7am regardless of rain and shine, karate lessons, assault courses and sessions in the danger room which were currently kicking Caroline's ass. It seemed like Logan loved nothing more than watching a computer simulation beat the crap out of her. To say Logan was pushing Caroline to her limits was a little bit of an understatement, there had been some days where she had woken up so sore that she could hardly move. It was hard work and Caroline had faltered at times, there had been plenty of scrapes and bruises, quite a bit of tears but despite how tough Logan was being on her, it was a welcome distraction. It kept her busy and stopped her wallowing in her guilt as much as she used to.

"I need to break you down. Both physically and mentally in order to get rid of your bad habits and build you back up again to be the person that the Professor knows you can be. We may just make X-Men out of you yet..."

"Gee Logan, I didn't know you cared so much." Caroline quipped trying her hardest to suppress the idiotic like grin that was covering her face and get praised by Logan was like being accepted as one of the team. Although Caroline was a long way away from becoming an official member of the team but getting some acknowledgement of her worth here at the institute meant a lot to her. She knew if Logan believed she had what it took to become an one of the X-Men than it was a real possibility.

"Don't get so big headed kid." Logan retorted in a half-hearted manner.

"I can't help it! I was a cheerleader in my former life ya know…"

"Oh yeah, I keep forgetting about that."

"Me too, it seems like it was forever ago." Caroline replied after a few moments silence and she could help but sigh as it seemed that her old life back in Salem seemed like it was several lifetimes ago. It was hard for her to believe that only three months ago was she still a regular high school teenager who loved nothing more than hanging out with her friends at the mall, going to pep rallies and having fun. Caroline didn't like to focus much on her past as it was too painful but when she did, she couldn't believe how naïve she had been about everything. Before her life had changed she had been so clueless about the mutant situation, how others like her were being persecuted and didn't have the luxury of seeking refuge at the place like the institute. Back then Caroline would have never given two thoughts about mutant rights or the possibility of a war between humans and mutants. But things had changed, Caroline had changed. The fire had changed everything for Caroline and now she was no longer living in what she called ignorant bliss. The Caroline Cassidy of back then and the Caroline Cassidy of now were not the same people. They were as different as oil and water.

"Missing home?" Logan questioned and Caroline scoffed in disgust.

"What home? We both know that I can never go back to Salem again, my parents made it pretty clear that I can never come home, well I can't even call it home given that my folks disowned me." Caroline replied with a scowl, not bothering to disguise any of her bitterness over the situation. She knew better than to pretend in front of Logan that this thing with her parents wasn't bothering her, the more she hung out with Logan the more Caroline noticed that he was very good at seeing right through her. They both knew that Caroline would always have some kind of resentment towards her parents but it was something that she had made peace with a few weeks ago. She had better things to worry about than her parents not loving her enough and when she didn't, Logan was always good for finding something for Caroline to do.

"You're better off without them."

"Yeah, yeah… I should probably try and get some sleep but thanks for the pep talk Logan, it's appreciated. I'll try and keep the noise down." Caroline chuckled before letting out a small yawn and climbing down off the balcony and back onto the balcony. She offered Logan a mock salute which was turning into her personal greeting for the older gentleman before slowly making her way back into the library.

"Don't forget Goldie, you have your five mile run at 7am followed by a session in the danger room. Don't make me have to come and wake you up with a jug of cold water again…" Logan threatened calling out to Caroline who spun on her heels to turn around to face her instructor.

"I had plenty of time Logan."

"I find that hard to believe Goldilocks since it was 6:59."


End file.
